Recently I’ve heard several “experts” declare, “There is no balanced living.” I cringe every time I hear this well intended but very misguided statement. Perhaps it’s my training as a primary care doctor. When I was practicing community pediatrics I would never tell a tired, frustrated mom, “You’re never going to get the hang of this parenting thing, so just stop trying.” Instead I helped her develop realistic expectations for her role as a mother and a strategy for addressing her family’s unique needs for whatever stage of development they were going through.
Did it mean she was going to strive for a perfect home life free of toddler struggles, teen rebellions, or frequent newborn feedings? Absolutely not. Usually it meant I assisted parents with developing realistic goals for coping with or reducing the stress and sense of overwhelm they were feeling. That is what balanced living means.
It appears many people have confused “balanced living” with “perfect living.” If your goal is to evenly divide your time and attention between work, home, and community work while feeling confident, peaceful and in control that probably isn’t going to happen. If it does it probably won’t not last forever. Ask any elite gymnast. Even Olympic gold medalists sometimes falter on the balance beam routine they’ve done thousands of times.
Balance is a practice, it’s not a destination. It’s not something you do once, like moving into your dream home, and then check it off your list. It’s a state of mind and an inner sense that fluctuates. It can require periodic adjustments to what you’re doing or to what you’re telling yourself about what you’re doing.
Balanced living is dynamic. It changes and shifts with life’s demands. What looks and feels like balance one day might look and feel out of balance on another. Remember the Olympic gymnast. Many times she has to adjust and re-balance during her routine, especially after completing a particularly challenging stunt.
If you’ve bought into the “balance isn’t possible” myth and resigned yourself to perpetually feeling like you’re running on a treadmill that’s set too fast, I hope you reconsider. It might not be realistic to never feel stressed or overwhelmed but you can definitely begin to make choices that help you feel more grounded and balanced.
One rule of thumb I like to use when I start to feel off kilter is,” Do more of what makes you feel good and less of what makes you feel bad.” Again, this doesn’t mean take it to the extreme. It’s not, “Only do what makes you feel good and never do what makes you feel bad.” Just start shifting things a little bit until your life feels a bit more balanced. Remember: balance doesn’t mean perfect or even. It just means stable.
Be well.
© 2012 Dr. Donna L. Hamilton, MD
Holistic wellness speaker Dr. Donna L. Hamilton, MD, MS passionately teaches women what being healthy really means and how to do it in a way that fits their unique needs. She enthusiastically teaches a comprehensive approach to health and wellness that addresses mental, emotional, social, spiritual and physical well-being. Dr. Hamilton-a former board certified pediatrician-now specializes in health optimization. She retired her white coat and stethoscope and now speaks nationally about holistically improving health and well-being. For more information visit http://www.ManifestExcellence.com
The intent of article is to offer general information to assist with your quest for knowledge. The information is not intended to diagnose, advise, or prescribe. Because each person is unique, it is best to receive personalized health and wellness advice. Contact your healthcare provider before starting or changing any healthcare regimen and when you have health questions and concerns.
A wellness thought leader, she champions a comprehensive approach to health by addressing mental, emotional, social, spiritual & physical well-being with a simple and potent message. Her book Wellness Your Way offers a practical strategy to assist readers in creating a happier, healthier life. For more information or to book Dr. Hamilton for speaking engagements visit www.ManifestExcellence.com or www.DonnaHamiltonMD.com
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